Hammer — Too Legit to Quit

«Too legit to quit? Andy told it was timeless, stupid nineties.» (Cougar Town)

When Hammer enters with his erratic speech on the dance pop rhythm of "This Is the Way We Roll", well, at that point you know it'll be a full-laughing album. It's exhausting and unbearably long, over seventy absurd minutes of pure total trash balsamic with a bit of hip house and dance pop touches.

Production is ... what is it? I dunno. Hip house. Hypnotizing, and not in a positive way, it's like that Futurama hypnotoad, if you know what I mean, music critics still can't give a rating of less than 3/5 even in retrospect today, do we realize? Maybe it's better not to realize it, because it's something completely meaningless, it makes even less sense than this profoundly gospel sophomore, that for a not clear reason, is deeply gospel in the background choirs sung chosen by Hammer, which "wisely" combines them with pop hooks in a sort of global middle finger directed to as many genres as possible, designing a really bad swing pop album, with simplistic rhythms, an unlistenable spoken and easygoing rapping style and cuts that are as cheerful as they're stupid with bars that cannot be commented on. The wet dream of every self-respecting A&R continues, that is, having an unknown guy with no brain who can neither do nor say anything and who dances all the time making them enrich without any merit for years, nonetheless, this LP's more consistent than the debut: there was this guy's one-hit and other random tracks trying to repeat the hit and maybe you could have expected something more, but here it sucks from start to finish, there aren't bangers, it sucks consistently, and you expect it on the second album, as those three millions who bought it because they expected and deserved it because yes, probably yes, at the time it was timeless. Damn.

Rating: 1.5/10.